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Befriending Your Kids

Strike a balance between being a friend and a parent



Like many relationships, friendship is an important part of a healthy parent-child bond. Parents should be loving, understanding and friendly with their kids, but at the same time, maintain the right levels of respect.  

Moreover, you must realize that the nature of your friendship with your two-year-old child will be different than that with your 10-year-old. It is important to understand that the age and maturity of each child dictates the way you approach friendship with your children.

You cannot become your children's friend in a day; rather, you have to start it early, from their childhood. Whatever you instill in your children right initially will last throughout their lifetime. The first thing you need to have is effective communication with your children. 

Listening to your children is just as important as talking to them. You can talk to them about school, friends, cartoons or their favourite sports, just to name a few. While you should be present to assist with problem-solving, do not resolve things for them on your own; this common parental fault encourages overdependence in the child.

Moreover, you can play with them, go on holidays as a family or do things to spend time together. While love, care and attention are necessary do not overdo it, as over-pampering will only make them stubborn, disrespectful and demanding. 

In addition, do not give in to unreasonable demands. Rather, try to explain to them why their demand was denied — for example, how it could be harmful for them. You need to provide them with sufficient reasoning so as not to leave any questions unanswered and avoid similar demands in the future. 

While communicating with your child, exercise patience — children are quite inquisitive by nature and will have countless questions about the world around them. Being open and friendly will help your children develop trust in you, which will encourage open communication in the future.

A common mistake that most parents make while trying to befriend their children is that they forget their responsibility as a guardian. One can be a friend to their children even while performing their parental duty. 

Parents must command respect from their children, be able to set rules in the house and have the final decision-making power. You need to strike a balance between being a friend and being a parent to your child.

Like every relationship, you need to develop a strong foundation and nurture it with love and care. Moreover, a little effort on your part to build a strong understanding and better communication with your child can help you to be a responsible parent and a friend to your child.

Photo courtesy of sxc / hortongrou



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