Different Dispositions

How to deal with your child’s temperament

Every child is different; hence parents need to deal differently with each one of their children. Some children are shy and sensitive, while others may be aggressive and stubborn.

Children are also very moody — one moment they may be happy and playing, and in the next moment they may become angry and irritated. Dealing with your child's temperament is not easy, even for experienced parents.

Before you try and deal with your child's temperament, you need to a get a clear picture of your own temperament. You need to do a complete analysis to see which of your traits clash with your child's, and may give rise to adverse temperament.

In case of temperament conflicts, it is advisable that parent should make the first move to bring favourable changes. On seeing positive changes in parents, the child may also do the same and try to change. Moreover, on understanding their child's temperament, parents can make changes in the environment to make the child more comfortable.

Planning and patience plays a key role in dealing with your child's temperament. You cannot expect your child to change overnight; it is a gradual process, which requires you to be patient. If you are unrealistic, you will only end up being defeated and frustrated.

You cannot expect an active child to sit silently through a long church service or a quiet child to be an articulate orator. Be practical and reasonable. On successful completion of the task, give genuine praise and encouragement. Being praised for something makes the child happy and encourages them to repeatedly do better to garner more compliments.

Furthermore, avoid any comparison with other kids to change your child’s basic temperament; rather, respect his/her uniqueness. It is important that you give your child requisite attention. Sometimes children cry, shout or act inappropriately simply to get attention from their parents.

To avoid this, try to spend as much time as you can with your kids — talk to them, play or go on family holidays. Communication is important in every relationship. Along with talking, it is equally important that you listen to what your children have to say. Respect their opinions but within the established limit.

On any disagreement try and explain your decision to your children by going through the proper reasoning and motives behind it. On seeing logic behind your action, your child won't throw tantrums.

Another way of dealing with an irritable temperament is to distract your child with something else. Kids have short attention spans, so whenever your child has a bad temper, suggest something constructive.

In addition, encourage your children to have self-control as it will give them a sense of independence and teach them to be responsible for their actions. Once your children understand that you think they are responsible and can manage things on their own, they will strive to live up to your expectations.

With love, care and patience you can easily deal with your child's temperament.•

Photo courtesy of sxc / duchesssa

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